Social Media

If Social Media Platforms Were Coffee

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social media platforms as coffee slightly savvy


I LOVE coffee.  As I’ve started branching out from Starbucks and trusty Keurigs, I’ve found some stereotypes behind every kind of coffee drinker…

If social media platforms were coffee, what would they be?

Facebook: Black Coffee

Ah, the original social media platform. Definitely basic black (but obviously caffeinated) coffee. Although Facebook as black coffee would randomly change the water-coffee beans ratio all the time just to screw with you…thanks Mobilegeddon. And your algorithm change. And the other 9,000 daily changes.

Instagram: Hazelnut Coffee

Instagram is the nutty social media platform. Hipsters flock to Insta because it’s artsy and photo-based. You love a good hazelnut coffee if you love Instagram.

an amazing hazelnut coffee –> here

Vine: Frappucino


Vine is the teenage girl of social media. Slightly annoying but really entertaining.

Sorry, Vine, you’re the double chocolatey chip frappucino. Delicious, sweet, and satisfying, but not the perfect tool for being a grown up.

RIP Vine 🙁

Pinterest: French Vanilla Coffee

Pinterest- totally vanilla. Mostly dominated by women looking for their next mason jar craft or planning their wedding before their second date, Pinterest would definitely be french vanilla coffee. Sweet, keeps you coming back, and solidly mainstream.

follow me on Pinterest –> here

Tumblr: French Press Organic Coffee Beans Grown in Colombia In An Organic-Water Grown Field

Totally the high-maintenance coffee of the bunch. Tumblr demands a lot of deep notes, and high-maintenance coffee requires a deep time commitment.

Twitter: Extra Caffeinated Coffee 

Twitter happens too quickly to even consume coffee, but when it does, it’s extra caffeinated. Must. Stay Up. To. Date. *twitch* *twitch*

Didn’t know extra caffeinated coffee was a thing? Neither did I. I think I made it up..

Snapchat: Iced Coffee

iced coffee

If I had a $1 for every time I saw iced coffee on Snapchat, three generations of my descendants wouldn’t have to work.

Along with every iced coffee Snap comes with a temperature filter. And maybe a pic of your trendy shoes. Or a laptop showing just how much homework you have.

LinkedIn: Espresso

Espresso because you’re a professional. You stay up to date on industry trends, and you’re trying to establish your thought leadership by sharing other people’s posts (I’m kicking myself for even using “thought leadership” in a serious sentence).

Google+: Cafe con Leche

We’re all confused on why Google+ is a thing. Why do I have to make “circles?” Am I supposed to like this? What does “leche” mean??

StumbleUpon: Cappucinos

If you love cappuccinos, you’ve prob been to Italy. And you might also love the slow-moving life of Italians. With that comes a love for a mindless, clicking social media site that allows you to literally stumble upon something.

Myspace: Coffee + …whiskey?

You’re trying to stay relevant and cool, but you’re seriously struggling.

YouTube: Coffee w/ honey

You’re weird. Stop doing this.

YouTube goes by its own rules. It’s kind of a dark, dark place you find yourself in at 3 am watching videos of elephants sneezing.


What’s your fave social media platform?

I love hazelnut coffee + I love Instagram…how does your coffee taste stack up?


Bloggers – want more branding + public relations advice?

How to Create a Beautiful Instagram Feed + Grow Engagement –> here

5 Telltale Signs You’re Going to Fail at Branding –> here

and….follow me on Instagram if you feel like it –> here

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